First things first - What is a shaman, actually? The definition I resonate the most with is: "A shaman is a mediator of souls between worlds." Shamans are people with the ability to perceive things most people don't. The shaman can enter an altered state at will (some use plant medicine for this but I don't - I work with intention and sound), retrieve wisdom and information from other dimensions and then apply that to bring positive change and improve the quality of the life of those he works with. Shamanism has always been about results and very practical.
I've been interested in shamanism for a long time. It is honoring the earth, it connects with animals and nature and feels very grounded. But I've been reluctant for many years to follow this calling and actually do the work. It was scary to me. I just wanted to be "normal" and do what my ego wants me to do! Surrendering? Nooo! ;)
But the calling is the calling and it kept knocking at my door. I had a series of dreams, visions, spirit guide messages over the years and the relentless nudge to move into this direction. And a couple of the nudges have been near death experiences.
Interestingly, I first connected with my real life shaman mentor Shaman Jon Rasmussen in a dream. It was one of these very vivid dreams that feel absolutely real. When I woke up, I knew I had to get in touch and speak to him personally. And that is what we did and he started working with me. It then just happened to align that he suggested to personally train me in shamanic energy medicine as he saw my potential when I did shamanic sound medicine work for him.
So my task was to heal myself first, to track my wounds of the past and transform them into sources of strength. That is called the process of building my mesa, my shaman medicine bundle filled with 13 khuyas, the sacred stones that now assist in my clients healing.
And that process of shamanic training had me peel many layers of my identity away. It was a true death & rebirth experience. But it was also extremely beautiful. Knowing who I am at my core. Knowing I am always supported and carried by spirit, through this life and beyond. My experiences have given me a great deal of compassion and the desire to hold space for the transformation that wants to happen within the people that are called to me.
Finishing the training and receiving the initiation rites was so profound, that moment of remembering how sacred this work is and how grateful I am to be alive, ready to serve from my heart.
My own life journey that has taught me a lot about embracing both the lighter and darker aspects of myself. I know all about wild levels of anxiety, depression, complex trauma (C-PTSD), chronic disease, loneliness, feelings of not belonging on this planet, suicidal thoughts plus being a highly sensitive person (HSP) / empath that spent most of her childhood with animals and creative activities in her own little world.
In the past, I have always felt like there is something fundamentally wrong with me and that I have no place in this world. However, I have shed those beliefs and transitioned from being incredibly shy to inspiring thousands of people via Youtube - not because I "wanted" to but because I felt a calling deep inside of my heart that was bigger than my fears or my desire for staying hidden and safe.
You are capable of great things if you dare to trust. My guidance has led me from Germany to Maui, Hawaii to New Zealand where I started a new life with my belongings stripped down to two suitcases. Again, not because "I" wanted to, but because I was guided and I knew it was the right thing to do.
I know about death and rebirth, about hitting rock bottom and standing up and choosing life, over and over again. I know the really intense dark places as well as the blissful peaks of life. I also know about letting go and being brave. Because we all do have a lion's heart deep inside. It is a choice to keep walking and trust that we are endlessly loved and supported.
The usual response from other people (and myself) to what I was experiencing was to not put any attention to it and to get over it. Think positive thoughts and you will attract the life of your dreams. I have tried positive thinking for over a decade and it has led to some sort of spiritual bypassing of what was really going on in my subconscious mind. Positive focus is great, unless you want to escape from something you don't want to feel - I really resonate with Teal Swan here. So what was the way out?
Things started to change when I stopped trying so hard to feel better or to get over it. Healing happened when I fully acknowledged my feelings, embraced all aspects of me, surrendered to my life purpose and then I started to see everything that has happened to me as my teacher and an opportunity to grow. But it took a while and lots of patience to get to this point.
My own awakening journey and studies with powerful healers, teachers and shamans from all over the world (including renowned Shaman Jon Rasmussen, teacher and graduate of the Healing the Light Body School through The Four Winds Society) have provided me with a broad base of understanding to offer you compassionate support on your journey.
Own your beautiful uniqueness. Embrace your imperfections.
Dance the dance between LIGHT and DARK. Remember: You are everything!
A wonderful soul made out of SOUNDS and stardust.
On your SACRED JOURNEY, you are never alone.
Dare to trust and let go.
Be brave, be truthful,
grow wings and
Who do you want to be? What do you want to create in this world?
How can you be of service to others, living in harmony with this beautiful planet, leading a meaningful life here on earth and share your gifts?