"I am with you and I love you. Now, I am here for you, in the midst of this. I love you exactly as you are. You are so brave, strong and beautiful. This too like everything else, will pass. This too, like everything else is the essence of life and you are exactly where you need to be."
I love the moments when my spirit guide is talking to me. It is true connection to source and divine love.
Do you know the feeling of waking up tender and sore from your dreams? Finally escaping the grip of nightmares. The morning is waiting for you. The sun is shining, yet it is cold and you wrap yourself in a blanket, as you slowly get out of bed. It is almost eleven and this day is waiting for you. Breakfast. Checking your emails and messages. Doing your morning exercise - before breakfast. Showering, washing your hair, getting the dishes out of the dishwasher. You gotta do these things in whatever order makes most sense. And yet you are paralyzed and just sit down in front of the tiny screen of your laptop, trying to sort out the flood of your sensations that you are having.
How do people just get up and slide into their lives while I freeze because I can't handle the intensity of it? The well-known feeling of pain is spreading through my body. I am exhausted, so deeply tired after having slept so long.
The most challenging part is the exercise, right after waking up. Today, I can't do it. My dreams were too terrifying to even tell them to anybody. So what is left for me is sitting here, breathing, letting myself sink into my own pain and fear and all of it.
Letting go of all the shoulds. Should do sport, should eat something, should become a better person.
For now, I need my own loving attention, my own gentle hug. So I wrap my arms around my body and breathe. Some tiny salty beings run down my cheeks. It feels good to let them run. Releasing those emotions trapped in my body.
"I am with you and I love you. Now, I am here for you, in the midst of this. I love you exactly as you are. You are so brave, strong and beautiful. This too like everything else, will pass. This too, like everything else is the essence of life and you are exactly where you need to be."
It is comforting.
With every shallow breath that I take, with every "I love you" something is released from me. Nothing has to go away, nothing has to be different. I start to feel more and more at ease. Loved. Held. I do not push myself into my morning routine, I give myself time, space and love to arrive in this world first. I will do the things I have to do - but when I feel better. What does it matter, if my day starts two or three hours later? Losing this time by taking care of myself is winning time. This moment of meeting myself raw, tender and without expectations, bathing in unconditional love is sacred.